Monday, October 26, 2009
....how can i find it?
okay i'm just typing for the sake of typing i can't sleep , i'm just going to type a whole lot of rubbish and bullshit , okay here i go !
i can't , sometimes the only way to my pain is to ... , unlike people out there , they could see and feel alot more better then i am, and sometimes i just want to see the smiles
i looked back and i see that fun we used to had , so great and wonderful which we can never take it back again, even if my dreams showed me that i would wake up and cry
i smile as i go through this horrible night, because tomorrow is a better day?
i think i'm going to be crazy. . .
and years have passed , but on this moment i can still remember everything like it was yesterday, and that is how it remind me of who i really was
and i see that it was actually nobody's fault , and the Truth is i've never changed one single bit in me, i was that same old emotionless person, who tries to show some emotion, but inside i'm just shy and scared, i can't believe what i've done for this long term, and what i still can't accept the most is that thing that happened 2years ago , i'm not weak neither am i strong.
i could have given up everything i could, if that makes my love one feel alright, but in the end it's not what they want. . .
she told me that day
we talked for about a few hours after half a year
she screw me for the first time, tell me that everything was wrong. . .
i'm stubborn yes i really am but it help me in the wrong way
i thought i could stubbornly keep every little single thing inside
i'm scared not because i'm not willing to fall but there are certain when you fall
it'll break and when it break it's gone. . . .
some people say there is nothing too late
but it has always seems to me that everything is in a rush, one mistake and it's really too late to make everything back even if it means that it'll not be the same, i feel that there are things that can never go back.
the only reasons is those smiles that i keep craving for
those beautiful smiles and laughter they had that always make my day
stop taking the wrong step, ain't you scared?
i'm getting used to going in this empty and cold house
full of tears and sadness
even if i did teared it's like so what?
it's my only way to empty this bottle of feelings and emotions that can't be kept inside
i'm not crying for what has happen , i cry because of this FUCK TARD life
but i promised i won't be weak. . . for her .
i will hang on and see how things are going to be
I"M NOT CRAZY , I"M NOT GOING TO SAY A SHIT!
i've many things to do and hoildays are just stressful now ._.
i wonder what will it be like . . .
Jie arr Jie
there is so much i've to say to you, but there's so much that i could'd put in words to explain
sometimes when i'm with you , i see this saddness around you, that makes me feels so bad
i wanted to cheer you up , but i don't know why , i just don't know what to do anymore, i think i fail in my part, we promised alot together, i'll keep them. and jie i wished you would show me that smile you always had, sometimes i just wanna be alone with you, remember those times we had? i was just like a little kid with not sense in whats going on, and you smiled to me with that look that makes me feel alright. i really want the best for you like how you wanted the best for me. . .
Shingying
i know you don't like you're name to be posted but yar just for this once, alright?
i'm sorry. . . it's not your fault for everything that change me really
i'm tring to control i just need time to learn how to do so
rest well . . .
sweetest dream
kj
there's something wrong with you. . .you're moods are just going crazy , whats happening?
are you alright. . .?
what's happening to everyone. . .?
i seem so far now. . .
i know that i've negleted alot of things even him. . .
i'm so sorry i really am . . .
okay done with the craps time to get off blogger and off to bed :D
iを愛しているあなた、iする必ずあなたが後ろに私を愛しているだろうと願う
Labels: even if i did how am i going to keep it all at once. .
